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Scenarios
The scenarios below are examples of likely
situations that expats will encounter and with
which we can help.
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1-Sandy arrived from Denmark about two years ago
and enrolled her son in a bilingual school so he could
speak both English and Portuguese. She expected that
by enrolling her son in an international school she
would have better communication with the director and
staff of the school. To her surprise, all written
communication between her and the school were in
Portuguese, and her Portuguese wasn’t good. One day
she arrived for a meeting that was actually scheduled
for another date, but she had misread its notice. She
felt very ashamed of herself and also thought that the
school’s staff was rejecting her and not paying
attention to her needs. Sensations: Isolation and
inadequacy.
2-Mary arrived from Tokyo two months
ago. She has a babysitter who only speaks Portuguese
to help with her 1 year old son. Mary, at this point,
only speaks English and Japanese. She worries about
leaving her son with this babysitter because if
something happens, she won’t be able to communicate
with her, especially by phone. As a result, she takes
her son everywhere she goes and it’s making her life
very stressful. Sensations: tiredness, hopelessness,
withdrawal.
3- Patty is from the U.S. and enrolled
her daughter in a Brazilian school because it was
closer to her house and much less expensive. Her
daughter is doing very well in school and while Patty’s
Portuguese is improving, when she goes to parties of
her daughter’s friends from school she feels very
lonely. The other mothers don’t try to talk to her and
usually she sits by herself in a corner until the end
of the party. She doesn’t like to go to the parties,
but her daughter wants and need her to. Sensations:
isolation, embarrassment, strangeness
4-Roberta was living in Korea
with her husband and several times invited other
couples from the same company for dinner. The couples
always gave excuses to not accept their invitations
and never invited Roberta and her husband in return.
Roberta thinks there is a hierarchy in her husband’s
company and although the other couples were also
expats they didn’t feel comfortable around Roberta
and her husband because the other couples had lower
posts in the company. In spite of feeling very
isolated, Roberta stopped trying to develop
relationships with other foreigners within the company.
Sensations: perplexity, isolation, sadness,
incomprehension.
5-Regina’s husband invited two couples
from work for a barbecue at her home. He thought he
was specific about the date and time and that the
invitation was clearly communicated. They cooked for
everybody and to their surprise nobody showed up. This
has happened on two separated occasions, and Regina
and her husband don’t understand why their guests didn’t
show up, call to cancel, or at least mention it the
next time they see her husband. They’ve now decided
not to invite these two couples anymore, but they
still don’t understand what happened. Sensations:
dismay, confusion, , discomfort, alienation,
disorientation.
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From where we departure* |
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As human
beings, we are moving on people,
permanently in transit in time, always
creating projects that end and starting new
projects, and everything we do is temporary to
a large degree. In the contemporary world we
tend to be also people in transit in space,
geographically speaking. This means that we
must recreate roots and references wherever we
go, even though we acknowledge these roots as
temporary. And we need to create projects that
make sense in the new place, and that can also
be transported afterwards to other locations.
People live by their dreams and projects and
communities, without which they get sick.
These networks
and roots are necessary so we can grow and
develop and transform ourselves, instead of
experiencing sensations that can make us sick. For
that we need to feel supported in our experiences.
This necessary support of oneself means to have
others who know you, remember you, are familiar
with your history, your lifestyle, your
conceptions of the world and your goals. These
others are people with whom we can create a story.
Being in transit doesn’t exclude creating roots
and communities, and temporary projects, even
though it often seems so to the expat.
There are prejudices that can make
the foreigner feel like an island. They become stuck in a small
territorial space without being able to enlarge their network to the
bigger society. They can feel that their local community is closed to
them. In Brazil, at the same time that acquaintances, colleagues and
friends seem very affectionate, the deeper relationships and the
intimacy of these Brazilians’ homes are restricted to their families
and long time friends.
The foreigner also has his own
protection shell that doesn’t allow him to take risks and open up
to the large community. Sometimes they do this to protect themselves
from relationships that won’t last long, or sometimes because they are
just afraid of rejection. Also, if something is merely different, it
may be perceived as threatening. But we know nowadays that one of the
positive effects of globalization is the opportunity to experience
diversity. And if these diversity are received and welcomed we are for
sure free from barbarism and tyranny.
*
Some of the concepts utilized are from the books of
Prof. Dr. Gilberto Safra (IPUSP in A Po-ética Na Clínica
Contemporânea (Idéias e Letras) and Hermenêutica Na Situação
Clínica (Sobornost).
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Our
Services |
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The resources available for expats and re-pats
are through an agreed upon number of sessions (6 to 8 sessions,
usually weekly, but with considerable flexibility to accommodate
travel schedules).
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Support groups and self
projects for expat’s partners.
In these groups we work with partners who
accompany the expat, because we understand that they
are having a somewhat different experience. We will
encourage the development of a network, so that people
can have a sense of community that will share their
narratives, help them with their difficulties, and
support them in the creation of temporary and
transportable projects.
Groups with executives
These groups will address the stresses of the ex and
re-pat. In these groups we work with the executives
themselves who can feel completely stressed out by all the
changes: such as the pressures of the new job; the
difficulties of the new codes of the culture; relationship
problems that can compromise their success in the new
country; different styles of working; psychosomatic
illnesses; and family difficulties.
Couples and family support
A) We help expat and re-pat couples with their
arrival experience, and also with the experience of
leaving. We counsel them about everyday issues that occur
with their families. For example, the impasses in
decision-making that often occur about children’s’
education and about family members different experiences
in the larger community. If necessary we involve the
children in the sessions.
B) Cross Cultural Couple Compatibility (CCCC)
This modality of therapy has to do with what we
call the compatibility of cross-cultural couples. This
difference in nationality can become differences in
lifestyles, habits, cultural codes, and can compromise
the couple’s everyday life. This relationship will
need negotiations and tune ups so the love that
originally united them tolerates all the differences
and is able to prevail.
Children’s support
We can help the children to adjust, especially in the
beginning. We can help them with difficulties within
the families, at school, in social and cultural
situation, and with emotional issues regarding the
expat situation. We can work as mediators between
family and school as a guarantee that the children
needs are basically addressed.
Individual support
For adult expats and re-pats and the emotional
consequences of their situation, such as: chronic fatigue,
de-motivation, isolation, withdrawal. Shocks that impact
the family and social life can also have a negative impact
in their children’s lives.
Workshops in companies and schools
With expats and people who interface with them. In this
case we analyze and attend to the specific needs of each
individual institution. In this modality we offer a
seminar to create awareness to the expat’s problem.
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How
to participate
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Contact
us by email and please provide
information about your particular situation
and we will call
to schedule an interview.
Email to:
tania@expatbrasil.com.br
Rua Texas 658 - Brooklin - São Paulo

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